Sacred Curse Ver. 2 Part 3

Sacred Curse  -  1st person edition part 3

01/12


I still don't know where I am. I am home, but I'm not here. I don't know how long I've been sitting naked in the shower. At least an hour, as I can see where the sun has moved through the window through the open door to my room. When I left their room, I pulled up my skirt and held the ripped fabric of my blouse closed. The stairs didn't want me to go up. My head as it is, my vision is blurry, and walking as much as I did wasn't possible. When I stepped into the water, I still had my clothes. I don't remember taking them off. I've vomited at least once, and I don't know if the water is hot or cold.

I hit my head again…intentionally, this time. I am starting to feel everything that happened. I'm starting to feel…where I am in pain. The bleeding won't stop. I don't know where I'm bleeding from yet, nor from how many places. I need to bandage myself, but I want to faint. I don't want to move. Monster. Anathema.

Slowly, slowly, I slither over the side of the bath, leaving the water on. I'm too weak enough to stand, but I do so anyway. Both of these freakish wings must be parts of what is bleeding, because when I fall on the floor after a few steps and land on my wings, I can see small streaks from where they slid. Again, I stand, clutching to the wall this time. It's time I get rid of these disgusting things. I don't want to be a monster anymore.

Aleph's sword… He knows how to use it, but he likes his hammer more. I take his sword from his room and think how he would laugh if he saw me now. I don't know what I'm doing, because I find myself heading to my room instead of cutting them off right where I found the sword in his room. Heh; mom and dad would burn down his room if they found stains of this monster's blood there.

Thoughts are coming back again… Feeling… I can feel the parts of me that are slowly seeping blood. The joints of my wings overflow while the sword saws into them. Maybe I can pass out now. Inside and outside, all over and through me… Cold and hot… Why didn't they kill me? I'm a monster like any other. Why let me live…? I can still feel them. Feel too much… Too much, and…not all pain, but pain all the same. Why give me more than pain…? Can they be cursed now as well? Screaming and laughing and beating and breeding…

"Hey, Anya!" Calls the happy voice of my brother. Aleph, my anchor to reality. I don't want to be in reality. Let me go away… Let me go away… He can't be here. He can't see me now… "The monster the oracles talked about was already dead for some reason..." His quick steps lightly echo as he jogs up the stairs; he always takes two stairs with every step. I want to tell him to go away, but the words won't come.  "So, I'm back early. You wouldn't believe what happened to one of the hired war-" He can see me. He can see me…in this wretched state… "Anya!" He's…not laughing. He just runs to me and rips the sword away, tossing it to the side. "What are you doing?!"

"Aleph, you weren't…weren't supposed to be… I need these freakish things off of me!" Maybe if they're gone, I won't  be a monster anymore.

"No! Anya?! Why would you do this to yourself?" I can't look at him. The look of revulsion on his face as he scans my tortured body. With him here, I don't have the pain I want to take me away from my thoughts. Such hate in his fierce, emerald eyes. Unable to run away, I tightly close my eyes, and my tears finally start falling. I thought I forgot how to cry a long time ago. Even when I wanted to, I couldn't.

"Every breath I take only further shuns my existence… That sword is meant for killing monsters, isn't it?! I've always been a monster… Maybe I wouldn't be one if I didn't have these anymore... Even our parents-"

He easily interrupts my strained words by placing his paws on my shoulders. "Look at me, Anya!" he shouts with an equally strained voice. I can't keep myself from his demand, hearing the pain he is also feeling. He has a way of feeling what I feel. What anyone feels. I hesitantly turned my head to him, difficult because of how surprisingly much my neck hurts to move. His face is blurred from behind my misty eyes. "You...are not...a monster. You are not an angel or a demon or any other creature... You are Anya, my sister." Why does he do this? Why does he make me feel real…? I hug him as tight as I can manage, but I can tell he isn't holding me much at all because of how obviously any tighter would make my wings feel like they are breaking off. "You're wings are beautiful: the only special and unique things in this wretched place. Remember, we will leave here in time; I only need to earn a little more and we can go..."

I'm falling apart. Even with him around me, I can feel my body breaking. I can only think at all because he is here. "Aleph...they… Inside...they hurt..." I wish he was still gone so he couldn't see me, but if anyone would see me, it might as well be him. I shove my face in his left shoulder and moan.

"What are…and who?"

"I can still taste it... The evidence of their hate... The evidence of me... The monster..." I turn away from him and hold myself tightly. If he keeps holding me, I won't fall apart completely. "When I woke up my eyes were covered... Three voices; almost familiar, but too cruel to…"

"…who were they…?" I can hear him searching my closet. He probably wants to bandage me up.

"I bit into one of them, I don't know who... Another tried...to finish me, and I left your knife inside him and ran. They didn't chase me…but… The third... I can still feel him on me. In me.  Through me. In every way... And I…my gosh…I can still hear his soft whisper like it's a scream: 'You, monster…anathema…taste-"

I turn to look, startled from a sudden noise where Aleph was. His hammer was not lightly placed on the floor before he approached me with supplies and clothes. "Here," he says softly while applying some medicine to my wings. Why has he never left me…?  "It's almost over…"


Dried blood cleaned away, wounds scraped, treated and bandaged, and fully clothed, though I still feel my face damp from a tear ever so often. Aleph always makes sure I'll be okay, but I don't think I'll be okay again. He talks to me, but I don't say much. He's probably afraid that if I fall asleep, I won't wake up. The sun is just starting to set, although it feels like days have passed in a few hours. It looks so pretty, like today is just another day, closing to rise into a new hope tomorrow. But what is there to hope for anymore?

And then I see something, accompanied the sound of an explosion in the distance. Aleph comes quickly beside me to look out. He wonders aloud why we weren't warned to evacuate, dangerously close as we are, when the seers saw the attack coming. Nothing commonly makes it past people like Aleph, so I haven't seen an evacuation more than once in my life. I can see people only now shuffling out of their homes. I only see them out of the corners of my eyes because I can't look away from the attacker. I've never seen anything other than a being in real life. Aleph has described things to me and I've seen images in books, but that is all. I feel a smile cross my face as I stare into the burning omniscience of the angel's power with thoughts of the town's destruction - maybe I am a cursed thing, but I don't care. Excited pink fur beyond his robe, and out of his back extending his wings… The top edge of his feathery, butterfly-like wings shine like the sky, brimming with blue elegance, dispersing into the pure whiteness of a cloud down to the ends of his primary feathers.

"I'd rather die within this city than live among any within…" I whisper to myself while pulling hair away from my face to view the pink feline as best I can. "Why can't you kill them?" I continued to ask the air. I'm beginning to feel excited. Suddenly I throw open the window and yell outside, much to my brother's surprised, I'm sure, "I thought you angels were supposed to be strong!" With my discontent at the angelic figure's progress, I noticed my deep ocean blue wings resonate with a strangely purple hue. Quickly, I regain my focus on the battle. I know we should already be running, and I know Aleph won't leave without me. I also think he knows it was too late to run by the time the creature walked through the town gates.

The angel's arms spread wide and white falls down him from head to toe. I feel as if something shot me with an arrow… I can't see clearly enough from where we are, but I'm certain he looked at me… I wished for this.


Why are we alive? That's all I can keep thinking. I am happy Aleph is safe, but none of this makes sense. I've tried nudging him awake, but he remains unconscious. I don't have any new injuries, and he appears unharmed. Yet, outside… No one could have survived anywhere around us. And I don't feel anything for anyone who surely died.

"We're...alive...?" asks Aleph as he regains consciousness. I watch him as he lifts himself to his feet.  Seeing me awake, he comes to me to check if my wounds have reopened. I assured him I am alright, but he checks anyway. He's always been like that. "Gone... There's nothing left!" he says, flabbergasted. He must have seen outside while checking me over near the window.

"What? Oh my gosh..." I say as I also look out. I don't know why I feigned surprise since I saw before he woke up.

"Only rubble lies all around us! How...did we survive that blast...?" he asks, noticing that ours is the only house one in a mile of the gate still standing.

I think I'm still in a state of shock because I'm beginning to be pleased with the thought of so much of this town gone in an instant. Happy. I back into the wall near the door as I recall the feeling in and color of my wings angel prepared his. "No... No... I can't have..." I whisper to myself.

"Hey! Some of Jeddo is still standing!" Aleph exclaims with a sigh of some relief. "That means mom and dad and others should be okay..." Aleph turns around to see my frightened self and runs to me, grabbing my paws. "Don't worry, Anya. The angel is gone now, and mom and dad will be back soon. I need to go and try to find anyone who might have survived this devastation… Will you be alright here?"

What would he think if he knew what I did? I simply nod silently before Aleph rushes out of the house, promising he would return within an hour. I sink to the floor when he leaves and wrap my arms and tail around my legs before burying my head, sobbing quietly.


Time seems to fly as quickly as when I was passed out. Once again, I can only tell time has passed because I can see the moon in the dark sky outside, though it's not as dark as usual at this time of day. Mom and dad are probably held up on the other side of town until this area is surveyed to see if it's safe. I wonder if they are worried about my brother and me.

"Gone… I can't find…anyone alive in the area…" states Aleph solemnly as he walks in with a sullen face,

I might as well tell him. "I don't know how…but I know I helped that angel," I confess, intentionally not looking at my brother. "I felt…something when I cheered him on. I've felt something like it before…when the few sorcerers here would scorn me, and I'd let them get to me..." I look to him sadly, horrified at my actions and that I can be happy with them. "They would become weak and fall like their strength had suddenly been sapped away…."

"That doesn't mean… The fight was at the edge of town! You couldn't have-"

"It was my fault! This abject place was ruined with my support, and I'm not even disturbed by the idea! Maybe I should let them kill me…"

"Why would you say that?!" The feline sat down a chair across from the couch where I sit. "If anything, what happened needed to happen. So many…gone… But maybe this hellish place can change…"

""Change… They won't change.," I reply with increasing rage. "Maybe decent for a day… But once the city is rebuilt, the stagnation will begin again."

"You don't know that."

"You think it's really possible? How would they change?" I'm getting frustrated. We've talked about this before, and I always get frustrated when we do. Just because people died this time doesn't mean anything.

"I don't know… We can hope. We can help."

"You can, Aleph. As long as you're here, you can. As long as I'm here, I can do nothing more than wait until someone finally tries to kill me, or we leave." They should have killed me today. They wouldn't have died.

"I know we're close now. Within one or two more jobs we will have the means to leave here and never come back, and because of what happened I have already another job waiting," he says reassuringly. "I would be surprised if anyone attacks you again so soon after this. And remember, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you. Stay here with mom and dad while I'm gone; you'll be safe."

"When we're gone, we can change…" I say under my breath.

"The next job begins shortly. I am to survey the town perimeter and search for anyone who may have run to let them know they may return. This will last a few days, but it will allow me to be here at night."

I grab his right paw when he stands up to leave. "Be safe, Aleph…" He's the one who should not die…

"I will," he replies with a reassuring smile and a light pat on my head before disappearing beyond the door. I don't like when he goes…

Our parents appear not too long after Aleph leaves. As expected, they tell me they were forced away until they were told no dangers remained. Meeting him on their way, he told them of my injuries and that our house was somehow spared from the blast. They seemed pleased and relieved he was safe, they knowing he was home at the time the angel came, but they didn't seem to care one way or another about me.

The attack destroyed their increasingly faint inhibitions for casting me out. I can see it on their faces and hear it in their voices. When my brother and I were born, they defended me from the harsh words of the seers and city residents. But as time moved on, they didn't help much at all.

I'm certain they blame me for the destruction today.


"You never thought of me as your daughter anyway…" I say scornfully. Days later and they've had enough of me. I can't live here anymore. And with those words, my mother firmly slaps my cheek and I fall to the ground. I push up to lean on one paw with a frightened, hateful look before she continues her assault with words

"Why are you alive?!" she shouts. "Why couldn't you have died when that angel attacked?!" I'm leaving now. I can only hope Aleph is on his way home. I stand to go with eyes full of tears and run as she continues to yell. "I'm sick from looking at you! Your life is a disease to everything!"

I don't know why I'm crying. I always knew they hated me so it's no surprise. I don't have anywhere to go now, so I run aimlessly through the ruined part of Jeddo. Before I have time to think any coherent thoughts as to where to go, someone tackles me, and my back and wings slam on the not too flat ground. Without trying to think, I roll back and kick off whoever hit me. Xander… A friend appearing from the shadows… He also has survived the angel's attack.

"Monster…Anya…" began Xander with a disturbing gleam in his amber eyes, causing my relief to quickly turn to fear. He has not called me a monster for years. "How he could be a brother to a thing like you I'll never know. But…" He drew his sword. "The training he gave you will make this so much more fun!"

"Why…are you doing this…?" I ask, narrowly evading his cuts, tail puffed up in agitation instead of low to the ground as it had been for a week strait.

"Why do you think?! I've never liked you, if that's what you're thinking…"

"You played with my brother and me growing up, fought with him, and let me take care of your injuries…" I thought he liked me, even if only a little. I liked him too.

"You think I did that for you? Well, you know how I feel about monsters… I can see why you don't know anything…anathema."

The cursed name: the name the seers gave me. I know he was not lying when he called me that. He would not stop until I was dead. Everything about him up to this point must have been a dream… "See how much of a monster I can be…" I say before grabbing his wrist carrying the sword as I parry and taking the new hidden blade from beneath my skirt on my right thigh. The blade is jabbed into his arm before he has time to know what was happening.

Suddenly I am on the ground again, pinned down by both the rhinoceros and weasel who wears a bandage around his neck that wrapped below the top of his shirt. Could he have been one of those that…and Xander…? Before I could finish my thought, the red striped tiger kneels over me to stab the bloodied dagger into the ground above my head, slicing some hair.  "You helped the angel break the city. Well I like to break things too…" He wraps his fingers around my face with his thumbs held just above my panicked eyes. "I've heard eyes are like windows to the soul. Shall I break yours and see if you even have one?!"

"Wha...no...aahhh!" I scream when he begins pressing into my eyes. Almost as soon as I can feel the painful pressure, it is released. I take a moment to rub my eyes before I notice…Aleph tackled Xander.

"Xander! I've warned you about trying to hurt my sister..." says Aleph, enraged. I wonder how many times they've had this discussion since Xander stopped throwing rocks.

"Do you know what 'monster' tastes like, my friend?" replies Xander. Licking his lips to emphasize his sadistic glee, answers his own question. The way he spoke just now…and the words he said…bring an all-encompassing reminder of a few days ago. Taken and torn and tortured… Xander…he…

"You... It... You were the last..." Aleph's words are almost lost on me, hardly able to focus on anything. I can somehow see from my blurry eyes the hate on his face, his teeth bared as he let out a feral cry of rage. "IT WAS YOU!" Instantly, I can feel clearly the waves of all his concentrated magic energy flow through him with power to bring all of them to their knees, save for Xander who somehow held a cruel smile on his face. The tight grip on Aleph's arm is the only reason I can still stand. I fall as well when he takes his large hammer from his back, but he hesitates from fighting. He knows Xander is taunting him, hoping he'll make the first move.

What is happening? They who are the best of friends, about to kill each other for my sake. I am not worth so much… Could Xander not have just killed me before? If it's what he wanted all along, it would be so easy… Aleph never would have known and they could live happily. Aleph wouldn't need me to drag him down all this time… Instead of killing me…he and they…

"I know you know that anathema is the reason the angel had the power to nearly destroy Jeddo…" says Xander.

"All I know...is that you and these monsters…attacked my sister..." retorts Aleph. He still wishes to defend me after all this. And label them monsters?

"Some of our families were caught in the devastation... If you hadn't come back so soon there wouldn't have been anything left of that...thing!" yells Xander.

"Anya… I need you to run…" Says Aleph when the others start creeping back to me.

"They'll kill you…" I cry.

Aleph jumps into position and swings devastating blows against the two. "Yes. And I will take them with me," he proclaims with torn emotions while giving a look of pure intent to destroy to his former friend, his purple and black tipped tail twitching in anger. "Now run!"
.
"Aleph..." I follow my brother's command and run, desperately trying to escape the city and not allow his actions to be in vain. He wants me to live, so I will try… I can feel my wings glow once again in hope of my brother's survival. Maybe I can help him like I helped the angel.

Behind me I hear the tormenting voices of the weasel and rhino, stumbling from the hits from Aleph, but still unyielding. As we approach the shattered walls of the city, the guards attempt to approach us to keep us away, but are cast away by the rhino's magic. With a few minutes into the forest, I am the first to fall from fatigue. I can't get up. I don't know how anymore. The weasel takes full advantage and slashes viciously into my feathered wing with his dull short sword. I scream in pain, full knowing that will only make them happy. Then a deep crunching sound comes from my leathery wing as the rhino stamps on it forcing it to fold between the joints. I don't scream this time. I can feel my consciousness finally fading…

Aleph… Where are you now? I know you can beat Xander alone, but the others will be back soon. Monsters… Xander has been pretending all this time. I would have let him if he asked… He must have known… But knowing probably only made  the forceful action all that much sweeter to him… Having to feel something good makes me feel so much worse…

I tried to live, Aleph, because you want me to, but I think I failed. I have lost my thoughts.

---

"The next thing I felt was you, caressing my paw. The next thing I heard was your voice, a strange voice holding no malice or hatred." Anya's calm and soothing voice hardly makes any sense after all she has told me. She holds my arms tighter around her as she continues to speak. "You are a lot like him, actually. And at the same time, you and Aleph are very different.

"Anya, I…" is all I can say, almost unable to speak from hearing her past. I do not remember when we began laying here in her bed. To feel her soft fur and wings, I had not imagined doing so since the night she asked me to stay with her, years ago. Her emerald eyes somehow shine brightly in the dark of the night, and seeing them so bright makes me happy. The tears on her face are dry now, but mine continue to seep out slowly. This amazing woman… "Your family…Aleph…and you…"

"Yeah...but you have healed me... You're my family now."

"I feel...the same way with you..."

"...will you stay with me tonight, Acel?" says Anya, closing her eyes.

"…Alright." I smile and close my eyes as well.